Jessica Kennedy-Rockefeller's press secretary delivered a shocking announcement late last night.

"We are delighted to announce that Ms. Kennedy-Rockefeller will be taking a new job with the Wilhelmsplatz Regional Library. Not that it's much of a surprise. It's inconceivable that anyone would interview Ms. K-R and choose not to hire her. She was never nervous about the verdict, not for a moment."

Jessica Kennedy-Rockefeller, who incidentally shares initials with J. K. Rowling, will have an even busier social life than ever over the course of the next month, what with her many fans and admirers clamoring to outdo themselves with gala parties and scintillating soirees in her honor.

Truly, Wilhelmsplatz Regional Library is fortunate to hire someone of Kennedy-Rockefeller's caliber.